The Hurt in My Soul
by KiNGz-FAn-16
Summary: The troubled past of the bitter Potions master is finally told...From when he was a student at Hogwarts, to when he became servant of a powerful force...review! (not completed)
1. prologue

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and it's characters belong to JK Rowling.I'm just a psychotic fan!  
  
[prologue]  
  
It was raining hard. This year the summer weather was odd. But he didn't mind. He had nowhere to go even if the sun was bright. He just sat, huddled in his room by his window.  
  
His life was a never-ending nightmare. He couldn't remember when things had started to go bad. And although things had been like this for God-knows-how- long, he didn't know if he could ever get used to it.  
  
He would never get used to the shouts, the tears.the pain.  
  
It's not like he could just wish it all away. If he could, he would've done so a long time ago.  
  
The rain continued to pound slowly against his window in a slow, monotonous rhythm.  
  
He felt trapped. Like he was confined to a small space with no room to move, no room to breathe. Everything felt out of place.  
  
Suddenly, there was a loud crash. The boy turned his head towards the closed door of his room. A man was now shouting angrily and a woman's apologetic cries sounded throughout the wrecked house.  
  
The boy turned his face back towards the window. He tried to ignore the screams of his father and the pleas of his mother, but they echoed in his mind.  
  
Now there were more crashes. He guessed that his father was now shooting spells at his mother.  
  
He wanted to run away. He wanted to grab a broom, fly back to Hogwarts, and never come back. But he was only 13. His father would send someone after him and he'd be in even more trouble.  
  
The boy wanted so much to go back to Hogwarts. Even though he was hassled and made fun of, anything was better than this wreck of a house and his wreck of a family. At least at Hogwarts, he had other people around.  
  
He continued to watch the raindrops slam into his window and as steadily as the rain fell, so did his tears.  
  
At home, Severus Snape was alone.  
  
[end prologue] 


	2. chapter one

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and it's characters belong to JK Rowling.I'm just a psychotic fan!  
  
[chapter one]  
  
The rain had stopped a couple of weeks ago. It was around 9am and despite the fact that Severus had waken up at around 6 this morning, he had not eaten yet.  
  
As he neared the kitchen, he heard his father's angry voice, which was not uncommon in the Snape household. He stopped and listened, hidden from sight.  
  
"You're incompetent, ya know?!" Dorian Snape was ranting at his wife. "Ya can't even find yourself a worthy job! For Satan's sake, you're a freakin' clerk at some freakin' store that doesn't even pay you enough! While I have to do all the real work! I earn all the money, I pay for all the damn school stuff that boy of yours needs! And no one appreciates that!!" he yelled, knocking over something as he snarled out his last sentence.  
  
Severus's mother, Cordelia, sat silent. "But, even if it's not a lot, I still earn some money and at least we can get Severus nice school things," she said quietly.  
  
Slap!  
  
Severus flinched. Dorian had struck Cordelia across the face. "That boy doesn't have to have 'nice' things," he growled. "What good will he ever be? He cowers constantly and hides out in his room all of the time!"  
  
Yeah, thought Severus, because I'm afraid of you. Severus was clearly upset now. How dare his father say all those horrible things! And how dare he slap his own wife? Well, I don't need his approval, Severus told himself. I don't.  
  
But he did. It hurt that his father hated him. Part of him wanted to retaliate and curse his father with Dark Magic.  
  
Dorian and Cordelia were quiet for awhile, and Severus decided this would be a good time to get into the kitchen and then back out. His parents never acknowledged him anyways.  
  
He wasn't that lucky this time though.  
  
"You!" his father barked at him. "What are you doing? Sneaking around?"  
  
"No," stuttered Severus. "I j-just wanted to-"  
  
His father stood up abruptly. "Get outta my way," he fumed. He shoved pas Severus and stormed out of the room.  
  
Severus was confused. Damn-he could never do anything right! He turned towards his mother who was sitting quietly at the table, not saying anything. "Mom?"  
  
Cordelia looked up. "Severus, I'm tired. Just.Go find something to do." And she too got up and left him standing by himself with an empty bowl on the counter in front of him. Severus shoved the bowl aside. He wasn't hungry anymore.  
  
[end chapter one] 


	3. chapter two

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and it's characters belong to JK Rowling...I'm just a psychotic fan!  
  
[chapter two]  
  
Severus and Cordelia arrived at King's Cross Station with minutes to spare. The Hogwarts Express was to depart in about 2 minutes and they had just made it.  
  
"OK," Cordelia said. "You have all of your things, right? Now, uhm...Write me an owl as soon as you get there and do well in your classes and...Be careful."  
  
Severus smiled at his mother. "Thanks," he muttered. He turned around and ran through the barrier that led to Platform 9 ¾ as Cordelia watched him go sadly.  
  
As soon as Severus got onto the train, he went to one of the compartments in the back. He hated all of the usual crowds who got together and were happy. What was happiness anyways? Oh sure, all of his schoolmates were "happy" now, but soon their peace and happiness would be over.  
  
Severus wasn't stupid or naïve. He had heard the news and read it in the papers. The ever growing prediction that evil was coming wasn't a joke. Hints were being dropped everywhere, the Daily Prophet reported. Something was coming and it was going to be huge...But what was he to do about it?  
  
The train had been going for awhile though and nighttime was falling.  
  
Severus took out one of his schoolbooks and started to read. He was bored. There wasn't much else to do anyways. Just as he was getting to the chapter on kappas, the compartment door slid open.  
  
"Well, well...If it isn't Snivellus." Severus looked up and saw his two least favorite people: Sirius Black and James Potter.  
  
Sirius and James were always the show-off type. They were always the best at everything, whether it was Quidditch or schoolwork. And Severus hated that. But not only was there hatred...but jealousy. Severus was jealous.  
  
"I'm surprised you haven't been expelled yet Snivellus. Isn't that greasy head of hair of yours a health hazard?" James sneered. Both boys laughed. Severus didn't want a crowd to gather or a big fight to ensue so he focused himself on reading.  
  
"I think he's trying to ignore us," Sirius said loudly to James.  
  
"No, I think his hair is sticking to his ears so he can't hear anything."  
  
Before Severus knew what was happening, he was on his feet with his wand out. "Leave me alone."  
  
Sirius and James were quick though. They too had their wands out, ready to retaliate with whatever Severus had to throw at them. All three boys stood there just staring at each other. "C'mon," James muttered, putting his wand away. He turned and started to leave.  
  
"What?" Sirius asked incredulously.  
  
Severus was caught off guard. Was this some trick to get him to lower his wand so they could attack?  
  
"C'mon," James repeated. "We don't wanna get in trouble." And he walked away with a confused Sirius following. Severus sat down, feeling as if he had won some big battle.  
  
Sirius Black and James Potter...Oh how Severus loathed them. They loved to pick on him. And the teachers often did nothing about it because they favored Sirius and James. Severus didn't want to deal with them anymore. But why did they make it their life mission to make him feel miserable?  
  
The Hogwarts Express was slowly nearing Hogwarts. Well, Severus thought as put his book away, here goes third year...  
  
[end chapter two] 


End file.
